I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
birth control should be required to get into college
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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