Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
