My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
