I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
whose parrot is this?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize