Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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