just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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