her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
