There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
