It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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