So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
