I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize