she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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