I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
