She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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