he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
