The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
