it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
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i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
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my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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