She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
