Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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