She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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