We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
