Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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