I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
it was like eating out sand paper
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
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We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"