Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
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Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
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and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie