i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again