he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
