wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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