it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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