Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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