i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
