He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
