is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i love accidental penises.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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