if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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