I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I checked into jail on foursquare
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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