I faked an abortion last night.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize