Pappa wants mamma naked
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize