Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
