Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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