i jhust puked up my retainher.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
My ass is underappreciated
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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