oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
