I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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