Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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