I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My ass is underappreciated
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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