he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just found puke in my bra..
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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