Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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