I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
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