i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
