Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
