"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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