For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize