I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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