I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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