I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize