Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
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