Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
