I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
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Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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