barbara walters just said penis...
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
