im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
