Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(315): View more from New York

My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning

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(720): View more from Colorado

I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before

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(314): View more from Missouri

I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.

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(573): View more from Missouri

Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12

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(517): View more from Michigan

Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.

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(517): View more from Michigan

I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.

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