Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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