i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
