she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
