Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
